cheap at first, expensive now

something interesting about this particular blog, stepping on gum, is how the topics you want to write about don't come naturally. the premise is for us to share hilarious, embarrassing, strange (you get the idea) stories about our lives. i wish i had started this blog 10 years ago, because bizarre and hilarious events occur on the regular in my life, yet they seem to come to a halt when i need to write about them. after we created this blog a few days ago, i assumed this pink page would stay blank and empty for quite sometime. then, it just came to me (the "ah ha" moment) in e-mail form. i can write about "why my parents hate me!" okay, fine they don't hate me, but from time to time i think i get on their nerves.

we use to have a continuous joke in my family about how "cheap" i was. see, i was adopted when i was just a few weeks old. my birth parents were interracial, and so are my adoptive parents (which i refer to as my real parents, because they are "as real as it can get", right mom?). well because we live in such a progressive country, in 1986 i was considered "special needs." true story. because i was a minority, i was considered special needs. on the negative side, that's socially/politically embarrassing. on the positive side, it's expensive to adopt children...but if they are special needs, you apparently are discounted. my parents and i have always been open about me being adopted. they use to call me their "blue light special." you know, that little blue light bulb that runs around and lets you know when sales are happening at kmart?

at any rate, i think that initial discounted price they received in the long run wasn't worth it. i have a million and a half stories about the frustrating things i have done regarding money and my parents. there was the $500 texting bill (this was before the unlimited texting offer existed, thank you very much) in high school, the constant wiring of money from indiana to spain in 2005, the repair of a wall  in our house that i kicked in while angry (probably middle school, that's excuse enough), the two cars i totaled in high school, or the $3,000 credit card i maxed out due to (only) overdraft protection charges my senior year in college.

well, now i am an adult (legally, not emotionally, of course). i have successfully graduated from college and work for a university doing research as a full time job. my parents probably assumed that they were finally off the hook for financially supporting me. wrong. instead of sitting me down at the kitchen table and sternly talking to me about why my cell phone texting bill was so outrageously high or how i managed to wreck two cars; instead of angry/disappointed phone calls about why my credit card statement is out of control, we have resulted to emails from my father, and they are getting less and less personal.

the first one i received yesterday...

Maryellen,

I have paid $154.91 in the past month for you to drive a zipcar.  I believe that is 8 trips.  Please explain why I’m paying for so many trips.

Dad

notice, my father used my first name instead of "precious" or "dedo" (names he has called me for years). hey at least it signed it dad!

this one i received a few moments ago...

Your 15 calls to 411 information cost me $22 this month.  Get a phone book please.  

notice this one lacks addressing me in any way, and it wasn't signed dad. get a phone book please? ouch!

at the end of the day, i know they still love me because i occasionally get emails like this... plus, who can turn away a kid as cute as this?

I still have your last retainer in my desk drawer.  Had one of your pacifiers in my toolbox until it melted into a glob :) 

guess their initial baby discount caught up with them :) the adoption agency must have known i was going to be expensive and felt bad, so gave my parents the discount! in all seriousness, i hope they know that at the end of the day, i plan on taking care of them as they get old and plan on financially supporting them. i just hope they don't wreck their cars, run up embarrassingly high phone bills, or physically damaging my future home in their old age.